Has he emotionally left the relationship? I really seek advice!?

ok first i just had a baby 9 wks ago. i also have a 3 1/2 yr old. both girls. my husband was really hoping for a boy but he is happy with a girl. i think?





latley we have been fighting alot. im tierd as u could imagine, and hes being really lazy. He has 2 part time jobs to make up for a full time. he works 2 nightshift at one and the day at another. so it does throw his schedual off a bit. but all he does is sleep when hes here, or play video games or watch mma shows on the net. hes not really interested in me or the kids. i braught it upto him kinda hoping he would talk and open upto me and he kinda got his back up and said I begged him for another baby, and its my fault, i made my bed now lie in it. like what the hell is that suppost to mean. he doesnt want to help and is basically telling me he is unhappy. last night he was saying i was begging him for another baby and he just finally ';gave'; me one. which really hurt my feelings and made me feel like **** cause we planned her together.. what is going on in his head, what would make him say this to me. he has been sleeping for at least 10 -12 hrs now, but i dont want to wake him, i dont care to see him. Is he done with us? I want to rekindle the relationship and he just yells at me and says kids ruin romance and doesnt want to work at it. I catch him watching porn all the time, and it sucks cause I am more willing now then ever to have a sex life and that makes me feel terrible too... Im kinda feeling traped ... he doesnt love me does he?Has he emotionally left the relationship? I really seek advice!?
The truth is one of the hardest things you will ever have to hear. It may be true that you planned your little girl (which I'm sure is precious) but, in his mind he has titled her as ';your baby'; that you ';begged him'; for, and that's the only truth he knows. I feel for you, I'm in a similar situation with my husband, although he isn't as mean. I reccomend counseling, but if that's not possible, this is really a matter of how much you are willing to sacrifice. I'm sure its not too late, and he still loves you, he is frustrated with the lack of intimacy too. You have to work harder, make time for the two of you, I have been spending the evenings working to get my 7 week old to sleep long enough for us to make love or just cuddle and enjoy each other. Whatever you do, don't accuse or blame him for the problems, men are pretty simple, and they want things simple, if the baby is in your room find a place for her away from you two. I put the bassinet in our bathroom and turn the shower on, the warmth and sound keeps her sleeping, and it gives us privacy. You will lose more sleep, you will be uncomfortable dressing up everyday, but, if you want it to work, you need to do it. Be chipper, happy, pretty and non complaining and your energy will radiate!!








Good luck : )Has he emotionally left the relationship? I really seek advice!?
I think he's being selfish and childish. He needs to man-up and recognize this is his life now and everything works better when both partners do their fair share. The kids are there to stay, and wishing they weren't there won't do any good. It's difficult for me to have sympathy for him because many men have gone through a similar situation, and they help the way a man in a relationship should help. I also find it difficult to understand why he doesn't seem to have a natural affection for his own children.





Unfortunately I don't know how you change his behavior. Complaining too much will drive him away. But I also don't think you can just let him off the hook. I'm sorry I can't offer more help.
Tell him that either HE can be the man and hold you: or another man will.





** the previous answers really don't understand because they've never done this very hard thing you are doing!





What about your being stressed? What about your being depressed? You are the one with the involuntary hormone fluxuations! Tell him that he can stay home all he wants and cook and clean and take care of the babies, while YOU go out an get two part time jobs (way EASIER gig than all you do at home!) and tell him you EXPECT the house and kids to be in the same order you pull now.





MEN HAVE THE EASIEST GIG! Go out to work and come home- eat, sleep, $h!T- so f*ckin' easy!


I don't have the time to write the list of what women have to do PLUS make sure that the marriage is flowing? Screw it- if he doesn't want to care for you- there are LOADS of men out there who are lonely and ready for a marriage with beautiful children to mold (even baby girls!)
Just hold tight and be strong for the kids. I know you are stressed and maybe even a little depressed. He sounds extremely immature though. Good luck.
He is overwhelmed. If you want to rekindle the relationship you have to be kind to him. Kill him with kindness. Look past every nasty thing he says until, he stops. He will stop. It takes two to fight. It only takes one to make a positive change.
This does not sound like a man who wanted another child, or if he did, the reality is more difficult than he anticipated. All you can really do is try to talk to him and hope this improves. I'm sorry you're so alone in this.
Wow! sounds like he is a real jerk!! If my man ever said that stuff to me I would be out! Your girls should not grow up thinking his behavior is acceptable. He is a selfish person, who doesn't think.....at all. I am so sorry to hear he treats you this way. Especially since you JUST HAD A BABY!!! F*** him. Wait, don't.
he probably feel s overwhelmed. he has two jobs (yes i know they are part time) two kids and a wife that wants him to come home from work and pay attention to her. he probably just wants to relax after work and before he goes to his next job. he may have thought that this was the life he wanted but now that he has it he may have realized that this isn't what he wants. it's a lot of work being a husband and a dad and having two jobs. try to talk to him and see if he will tell you what is going on. don't attack him just tell him you know he is under a lot of stress and that you are worried about him.
Leave him alone. He works two jobs for goodness sake!
Sounds like he possibly could be suffering with depression, men tend to vent it out through anger. Also, those depressed tend to sleep a lot and take themselves away from things. (my husband deals w/ depression) I would try suggesting counsling, either individual for him or couples. It could help with communicating better and understanding why he is unhappy. It could possibly be ';the kids';, maybe he wasn't exactly ready for the responsiblity even though he may have wanted them and now he doesn't know how to react or work on it. Try talking a bit more and simply tell him how you feel and that you are not trying to burden him or put any blame on him, you just want to work on things together. Trying to talk about things in a different way could really help.